We made it back safe and sound, down from the heights of Mt. Kilimanjaro where the ascent is anything but a nature walk. We've been holed up for the past week in the cradle of civilization. Italy, more specifically, Florence, Italy - land of spectacular food, incredible scenery and beautiful people. What could be worse? But that's a whole different story altogether.

As I mentioned, climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro is no easy task. The climb starts with a five-hour slog through knee-high mud as you ascend into a rain forest. Then the next few days are a progression of acclimatization treks where we worked ourselves up to high camp at 15,500 feet. This is where the real fun began. From high camp, we woke up at 11:30pm (that same day), were on the trail by 1:00am and made the summit (19,340 feet) by 8:00am. Not such a bad trip if one enjoys torture that is self-inflicted. It is hard to believe that good money was separated from my wallet for such an adventure, but neither of us would have traded the experience for any amount.

Climbers have very short memories, and this is one challenge which you have to do for yourself. That is: You, 47 African porters, four Wachagga guides, a cook staff, world-class climber (and friend) Wally Berg, his lovely wife Sally, and the mountain. Other than these key elements, you and your legs get you up.

Some helpful hints to a successful climb:

Shower thoroughly before embarking on the mountain. Don't take off your boots inside the tent without first airing out your socks. Use the bathroom before bed as midnight latrine runs can be hazardous. Never question the color of the water as long as it has been boiled. Take drugs...any drugs - no point in being a martyr. Once you're down the mountain, hit your knees and praise the Lord!

Of course, the real purpose of our trip to Africa was not Mt. Kilimanjaro, but the three-day safari that we went on in Tanzania after the climb. Or at least, this is what Lark thought. There are all different types of safaris. Everyone's got their own ideas about what they are, but ours consisted of driving to nature preserves (Ngorongoro Crater, the Serengetti Plains and Tarangire National Park), and going on game drives in specially-fitted Land Rovers (the roof moves up so that you can stand in the back). We generally stayed in the parks where we were able to drive among the animals in their natural habitat. We saw every kind of animal imaginable: lions, giraffes, monkeys, hippopotamus', black rhinos, exotic birds, and of course, the granddaddy of them all - the elephant.

Picture this: There we are in Tarangire in our Land Rover; five simple tourists and our driver, quietly minding our own business as were casually following a bull elephant down a dirt road with our engine turned off. Actually, none of us thought it unusual to be coasting downhill behind a slowly walking elephant with the engine off while we stood in the back of a Land Rover - we were simply enjoying the moment in our own little Jurassic Park experience with not a worry in the world.

Suddenly, that changed! This elephant spun around, eye-balled us, then charged our jeep with such fury we thought he was about to launch us back into Kenya. You'd never seen five heads pop down so quickly and I can guarantee you this - there was not a dry seat in the house! Mr. Elephant stopped inches before the jeep, lifted up his trunk and pressed it on top of the hood. His breath even fogged-up the windshield, but nobody was offering to be the token squeegee man. We were frozen. Fortunately, he found us as no immediate threat and with the swish of his tail, he turned around and ambled on down the road leaving us wishing that we had plastic seat covers!

After one collective breath, we started up the engine and we were on our way. Tarzan never had it so easy!

—Thomas R. Elliott, Living the Life with MountainZone.com